


Adventures in Babysitting - The Winchester Way

by wildblueyonder6



Series: Jamie/River Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dad Dean, Dad Sam, Dogs save the day., Gen, Spanking, Teague is a puppy!, john is a good dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4535706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildblueyonder6/pseuds/wildblueyonder6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie and River Winchester are watching the Banner boys.  This is an OC AU verse where Our Boys live on a farm in Texas.  They have two great kids and Gramps (John) is still alive. They have horses and dogs and they still hunt.  Tonight though?  They are babysitting! Good luck boys!  Off screen spanking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Babysitting - The Winchester Way

**Author's Note:**

> My Jamie /River verse. Most of my stories will have some kind of corporal punishment because that's how I believe John disciplined Sam and Dean and Sam and Dean have continued the trend with their boys. But no one really gets hurt and they love each other. Adam is alive. John is Gramps and is alive too. Mostly because I don't want him dead. Some potty language but that's about it. Kind of a slice of life AU.

Jamie was tired. Bone tired. Coach had tried to run his ass off at practice. Jamie hadn’t been singled out though, all the boys had caught hell. They’d been goofing off during practice, acting like a bunch of monkeys. It was all in good fun, but they had a job to do and Coach didn’t appreciate it.

At all.

Coach’s appreciation had translated to a brutal practice. Jamie wasn’t sure if it was that his legs were so wobbly that he could barely stand or that there were bruises in places their shouldn’t be bruises.

It was worse than a hunt with a pack of Wendigos.

Then of course there was Jamie himself. A failed English test. Uncle Sam was gonna kill him. A piss poor attempt to go out with a pretty new girl in school.

She was unimpressed.

Coach hadn’t been impressed either when Jamie had opened his mouth to bitch. Jamie knew better but sometimes his brain and his mouth just didn’t connect. Or maybe they connected too quickly and his mouth started rattling off whatever thoughts hit his brain without really thinking about it. Which was kind of crazy because if you had a brain and didn’t think with it than what good was your brain?

It had cost him another ten laps while the other boys hit the shower.

He didn’t care anymore. He just wanted to get home. Take a shower so long that it ran out the hot water heater and then crawl into bed. He said silent thanks that it was Friday night and he had no homework.

He felt sure there would be some eating done at some point though because he was ravenous. 

Could you eat and shower at the same time? It was smarter than sleeping and eating he figured.

He stumbles up the porch of the gray farmhouse to be greeted with a solemn “Woof,” from Cooper, the old farm dog. Jamie absently scratches him behind his ears, bending down so that Cooper didn’t have to drag his old bones up to meet him. The ruffling causing his mastiff/hound wrinkles and folds to move, giving him an expression of worry. The old dog’s muzzle is gray and he was certainly long in the tooth but his eyes were still bright as a pup’s.

As if he heard Dean’s thoughts there is a sudden rumble from inside the farmhouse and Teague, Cooper’s up and coming replacement – not replacement, Jamie thinks quickly, his apprentice. A padawan to Cooper’s Jedi, comes barreling through the screen door of the house. 

The puppy had been rescued from the side of the road by River. Apparently, Winchesters made a habit of picking up strays. He had no idea what Teague was. Part Catahoula Leopard Dog most certainly, he was covered in sleek black and gray merling that was typical of the breed. He had two glass eyes, which were a shocking ice blue and long floppy ears that gave him a perpetual look of silliness. At six months he was almost as large as Cooper and even the biggest Catahoulas were not that big. Maybe he was part Great Dane, Jamie muses.

And he was an idiot.

This was evidenced by the Teague sized hole in the screen door.

“River!” a male voice boomed from the living room, “Get that damn dog!” It was Gramps and he was none to happy. He could hear his cousin scrambling into the living room and skid to a stop at the ruined screen door.

“Jeesh,” River said half to himself and then yelled to their grandfather, “He’s just a puppy, Gramps!”

“That is not a puppy! That is a fucking horse! Keep that beast outside until he can learn some manners!”

“Yes, sir!” River answered promptly and then swung what was left of the screen door open.

“Jamie, you’re home!” River said enthusiastically, “Ya wanna help me fix this door?”

Teague is now standing on his hind legs, slobbering on Jamie’s book bag and humping him from behind.

Jamie sighs and shifts his weight to accommodate 70 pounds of amorous dog. “River your dog is just a little too happy to see me. And no, I don’t wanna help you fix the screen door.”

“Awe, poor Teague,” River croons and grabs the puppy by his collar, dragging him off of Jamie. “Nobody likes my boy,” Teague happily stops trying to sex up Jamie and turns to River lapping at his face like it had been covered in gravy.

River laughs and allows the dog to knock him over, landing hard on the weathered floorboards of the porch, “Watch his latest trick.” River says, pride in every word.

“Other than breaking the house?” Jamie asks.

River ignors him, “Teague,” he says in a firm voice, “Sit!”

The puppy sat.

On Cooper.

The old dog doesn’t even growl, he snaps yellowed teeth catching Teague on shoulder. The puppy yelps and rolls over, baring his belly to Cooper. _Kill me oh great and wonderful Alpha dog! I bow to the majesty that is you! ___

Gramps had made it to the front porch and was taking in the scene.

“Now that’s how an old man cleans the clock of a wet behind the ears pup,” Gramps says approvingly dark eyes twinkling with unsuppressed good humor.

He turns to River, “Keep that in mind, River, if this door isn’t fixed by dinner," Gramps growls low, that amused glint in his eyes gone and he stalks back into the house muttering about dumb ass puppies.

River shrugs good-naturedly and turns to Jamie, still fending off Teague’s fat, slobbery tongue.

“So how was your day?” River asked.

“A hot cupa suck.” Jamie answers.

“That’s a new one,” River states, his tone one of admiration. “Did you just come up with that?”

Jamie sighs, “I guess, it’s just how I feel.”

“So you really won’t help me fix the door?”

Jamie sighs again, “Yeah, I’ll help. You get the stuff though and we can knock it out in a half hour.”

So much for his long, hot shower.

Jamie plops himself down on one of the Adirondack chairs with a groan. He would just sit here, breathing, ‘till River came back.

It took all of ten minutes. 

Screens were always getting broken with Winchester boys around and all the necessary equipment was in the barn. 

Fifteen minutes later the new screen was installed and Teague was gleefully running with what was left of the old screen across the front lawn, shaking it like a terrier with a rat and leaping up in the air.

“That dog is not right,” Jamie observes.

“He’s just….” River starts.

“A puppy, “ Jamie finishes, “I know.”

Jamie grabs his book bag and opens the screen door, followed closely by River.

“Well, we can take him with us tonight,” River says, “The Banners won’t care.”

“Huh?” Jamie stops in his tracks.

“Yeah, don’t you remember? You, me and JR are watching the twins.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Mrs. Banner has a book club meeting and Mr. Jeff has some kind of Sheriff convention or something he has to go to tonight.”

“What about Travis? He’s their older brother!”

“Travis is working the graveyard shift at CluckBucket’s.”

“Well, how in the hell did we get nominated?”

“JR asked, you said yes, and I agreed. Don’t you remember anything?”

Jamie has only moved from the front porch to the living room, but he sits down heavily on the old sofa, “I can’t Riv. I can barely move.”

River sits down next to his cousin, “We need you, Jamie. JR won’t be home till after nine, he has a basketball game. I can’t handle those twins by myself. They don’t even like me. Remember the last time I watched them?”

Jamie did remember. He hadn’t realized that bubblegum was that hard to get out of someone’s hair.

“Sorry Riv, you are on your own.”

Dad comes into the living room, carrying Teague. The dog is covered in mud to his chest and he whines as he dangles from Dad’s arms, back paws shifting from side to side as Dad’s hips move with his weight.

“On your own with what?” He asks, still holding the puppy easily. Teague doesn’t squirm or try to get down, he just hangs there drool dripping off his lips and a puppy grin on his face.

“How did he get back inside?” River ignores his uncle’s question.

“Dunno, but he’s your mess and if Gramps sees him tracking mud all over the house he will kick your ass into next week,” he gives River a rueful look, “I know, he’s just a puppy.”

Dad hip bumps the recently repaired screen door and drops the Teague outside. They hear his huge puppy paws gallop down the porch in search of more trouble.

He turns to both boys, “So what’s going on?”

River doesn’t want to get Jamie in trouble, but Jamie knows he has to answer the question so Jamie does it instead.

“I’m supposed to help babysit the twins tonight.” His father’s face grimaces. He‘s a grown man but the Banner twins are hell on wheels.

“Sucks to be you,” he says and then folds his arms over his chest to lean his hip against the door jam into the kitchen.

“But I’m not going.” Jamie announces. It sounds pitiful.

His father arches a brow at him, “Why? Did you say you would?”

“Yes, but…”

“Then you are,” his father says without heat.

“Dad, I can’t. I’m too tired. Broken. Lookatme! I’m …I’m sick.”

Suddenly concerned Dad steps toward Jamie and touches a hand to his forehead. He knots his brows together, “Don’t feel sick.”

“Not sick sick but sick.”

Dad offers him a quizzical look, “Not sick sick but sick? That makes no sense at all.”

River interjects, “He’s just tired, Uncle Dean. And cranky.” River looks meaningfully at Jamie. “But he has to come! You know how things go with the Banner twins!”

His father looks over at his nephew, “Well, your hair did grow out.”

“Uncle DEAN!”

“Look, Jamie.” Dad says, his voice just a bit deeper although still sympathetic. “If you promised Jeff you’d watch the boys then you will watch the boys. Case closed.”

He ruffles Jamie’s hair, “Dinner’s in ten boys. And Jamie, take a damn shower will ya? You reek.”

Jamie lets his tacky, matted with sweat head fall back against the couch in defeat.

So, a five minute shower. Dinner. And two little demon spawn. 

Yup, A hot cupa suck.

XXX

They show up at the Banners on time, exactly, because neither boy really want to watch Jason and Justin Banner. The less time they have to spend with the spawn the better.

The boys are only seven. They are not identical twins, thank God, but maybe they are worse. Jason is the Yin to Justin’s Yang and together they are almost undefeatable. Jason is blonde like JR and Mrs. B; Justin is as ginger as a cat. They both sport a smattering of freckles that makes them look adorable.

It is a façade. A horrible façade. They are not adorable. They are terrors. They are J squared and it is not a good mathematical equation.

Mrs. Banner greets them at the front door.

“Thank you so much boys, JR should be here in a couple of hours. Jay and Justin have already eaten, don’t let them fool you into believing they need snacks.” She looks over at Jason and Justin who are sitting like cherubs on the couch.

“Boys,” she looks at her two miscreants, “I expect you two to be on your best behavior.”

“Yes, ma’am.” They chorus.

“And River and Jamie?”

“Ma’am?” they both say.

“You let me know if they give you any trouble. Their bedtime is 10; that will give them some time to settle down after JR gets home. My cell phone number is on the fridge, so is Mr. Jeff’s. Feel free to call, but the reception at the Sheriff’s meeting is sketchy at best and well, this old phone…” she holds up what could only be described as an antique Motorola Razor, “Sometimes has a glitch or two.”

Jamie sighs, but softly. He doesn’t want Mrs. Banner to feel she is putting them out. Although, she definitely is.

“There’s food in the fridge boys, help yourself.” Mrs. Banner grabs her keys and heads out the front door.

“Watch out for…!” River yells, but it is too late, he hears Teague’s dinner plate sized paws skidding up to the porch. River’s eyes widen. Jamie bolts for the door. All he can think of is Mrs. Banner and muddy paws on her glasses and her book shredded and dog slobber in her neat shoulder length dark blonde hair.

Then nothing. No yells, no thump of Mrs. Banner hitting the deck, no scream of pain.

Just nothing.

River opens the door to see Teague sitting quietly at Mrs. Banner’s feet.

“Now, there’s a good dog,” she says and pats him quickly on the head as she heads down the steps with her book in her hand.

Jamie watches as River’s jaw drops. 

“How in the hell?” River says quietly, far too quietly for anyone but Jamie to hear.

Jamie grins, the first time all night. “Even Teague won’t mess with Mrs. B, “ he says sagely.

River shakes his head in amusement and awe then he reaches down to scratch behind Teague’s floppy ears. The puppy moans with contentment.

“Well Teague, you are on guard out here,” River tells the puppy, “Unless you run into a werewolf, your job will be a helluva lot easier than ours.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Jamie acknowledges.

They turn together and head back in the house.

The twins are no longer sitting on the couch. 

Jamie looks at River. River looks at Jamie. Their mutual stares are both of terror and panic and something else indefinable.

The Banner twins are loose on an unsuspecting world. 

How could they disappear so fast? There is not even the sound of footsteps anywhere.

Calling for them is a moot point. They won’t come. They are worse than Teague on his bad days.

Jamie come to himself first and assumes command, “Riv, you check the house, I’ll check the outside.” Jamie’s not sure who has the best job. The Banner’s house is a great sprawling Victorian with lots of places to hide. Their farm though, has a barn and at least twenty acres. 

They only have short seven-year old legs! How fast can they be?

He steps out on the back porch. The sun hasn’t set yet and the farm looks peaceful. That means nothing. The Banner boys are like fucking ninjas. 

There is no telltale little sneaker prints. No sounds of carnage. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye he sees a black and gray streak. Teague is running all out across one of the fields. He’s pretty far away but he even from here, Jamie can see his intent on his prey. It could be a deer, or a fox, or maybe two little boys?

Jamie can’t take a chance so he runs out across the backyard and vaults the wooden fence into the paddock. He is fluid and quick, football and hunting have made him that way. He is fast. The fastest quarterback in high school history. Plus, he has sixteen years of Winchester conditioning behind him. All the pain of the day dissipates as fear and anger take over. He will kill them. He will kill them both and yeah, he will have to tell Mr. Jeff and Mrs. B that their kids are dead but it is just an unfortunate part of life.

Still, he has only two legs and Teague four. The twins have four legs together but that shouldn’t matter! They are fucking babies!

He loses Teague in the tree line, but Teague, bless his stupid hound heart starts to bay, a deep throaty sound that is easy to track. So Jamie does. God, he hopes the dog isn’t chasing a damn deer!

The sound changes a moment later and Jamie recognizes it for what it is, Teague has treed his prey. 

Well, not a deer.

Jamie jumps a fallen log and can see Teague dancing around a tree, baying his head off and jumping up like he can catch whatever is up there. He just has to try really, really hard! The branches crack under Teague’s big paws as he tries to scramble up the tree. He can’t of course, but that doesn’t stop him from continuing to scale the tree.

Two pairs of eyes meet Jamie’s in the approaching twilight.

“Hey, Jamie!” Justin laughs, “Teague almost caught us!”

His brother laughs too, blonde hair nearly covering his eyes. Jason’s hair is almost white it’s so blonde and it contrasts sharply to Justin’s bright copper and red that glints through the setting sun. They look like a strangely unmatched yet very similar pair of bookends.

“It would have been better for you if he had!” Jamie bellows then pulls his cell phone out of his pocket to tell River that he has them.

“Get your butts down here!” Jamie yells after the phone call to River.

“No way, Jamie,” Jason says. “Teague might eat us.”

“Teague is the least of your worries, kiddo.” Jamie says with as much growl in his voice as he can. His voice changed last year and he can put on a passable impression of all of the Winchester men.

Justin looks at Jason. They don’t speak but there is some kind of twin telepathy going on because it is obvious they will take their chances sleeping in the tree all night.

Jamie paces around the tree, contending with Teague who is snuffling happily about now that he has found the boys. It occurs to Jamie that Teague did a good job. He,

“Good dog,” Jamie says and Teague takes it in like Jamie is a god. His whole body vibrates with happiness, his tail whipping sharply around and he whines low in his throat. Then he offers Jamie a puppy bark, far higher and sharper than and dog his size should be able to make. Teague play bows and then when Jamie doesn't take the bait, he settles at the base of the tree. Jamie watches Teague though, the pup keeps tilting his head up as if to remind Jamie that he did his job, now it's up to Jamie. And will he get to it, please?

The boys are a good twenty feet up. Fucking little monkeys. They are settled quite comfortably on fragile branches that would never hold Jamie’s weight. There is no way he can get them down. Even if River brings a ladder it wouldn’t work, there are too many branches in the way.

He will not call Mr. Jeff. He will most certainly not call Mrs. B. They are watching seven year olds! 

He glances at his watch. Less than an hour into their babysitting adventure and they are already up shit’s creek.

Jamie sits down under the tree near Teague, folding his long legs up and pretending to relax. 

“Whatever,” Jamie says, “I got all night.”

He doesn’t of course; JR will be here in an hour, Mrs. B around midnight and Mr. Jeff about the same time. He most definitely will not be sitting under this tree when the twins’ parents show up.

He texts River the coordinates, it’s easier than trying to explain the wild trail he took to get to this area of the woods. He’s not even sure where he is but luckily his GPS knows exactly where he is.

The Banner twins seem to know too. Or at least they aren’t concerned.

Teague realizes River is coming before Jamie. He bounces off down the trail barking madly.

River emerges from the thick growth of trees with Teague dancing around him, tail wagging furiously.

“Jamie,” River says. He’s carrying a flashlight, which is a good idea because it is getting dark.

“Over here,” Jamie says. 

The flashlight finds Jamie and he puts a hand up to ward off the bright light.

“Jesus, River. I’m right here.”

“Sorry,” River shrugs and then questions “The twins?”

Jamie points up the tree and shakes his head.

“They won’t come down?”

Jamie glares at River, his voice dripping sarcasm, “Nah River, I thought it would be fun to encourage the little shits to sleep in the tree tonight. I don’t care that JR should be home in a hour or so. Hell, I don’t care that Mrs. B is probably going to have a heart attack when she sees her babies 20 feet up a tree. The only good thing will that if she dies of a heart attack, she won’t be there to beat me black and blue for not watching them. Then of course, Mr. Jeff will beat me for killing his wife. It’s a win, win situation.”

“Well, aren’t we Mr. Optimism.” River remarks brushing back a lock of surfer boy hair from his face, and then settling down in the thick layer of leaves under the tree next to Jamie.

“Awe, c’mon Jamie, this isn’t our fault. All we did was come back into the house to find the monkeys gone.”

“I dunno, Riv. I just know somebody is goin’ down for this and the way my day has gone, it’s just gotta be me.”

XXX

Jamie has no idea what to do. The brats are in the tree and he and River are on the ground. He remembers when Justin and Jason were only three and he, Riv and JR had taught them to climb trees. Stupid, stupid game. It had seemed so innocuous at the time. Keep the toddlers busy with something other than annoying their older sibling and his friends. The boys had been naturals, scampering up trees like squirrels. Now it was biting them in the ass. Freakin’ monkey twins.

River turns his blue eyes toward Jamie, “Any ideas?”

Jamie tilts his head to the canopy above him, “I got nothin’, Riv,” he mutters.

“Zilch,” River says.

“Nada,” Jamie echoes.

“Zip,” They both say together.

“Jesus, Riv. We gotta think of something.” It’s futile of course; there is nothing to do except hope that when JR comes home he has some ideas. At least maybe JR will contact his parents so Jamie doesn’t have to. Jamie does not want to be the one to call either Banner adult and tell them that their kids are not safe at home – but instead are bonding with owls. 

He mentally berates himself. He’s a big boy and yeah, JR roped him into watching the twins but he agreed and the boys took off on his watch. It is his responsibility to notify Mr. Jeff and Mrs. B if he screwed the pooch.

“Hey, Jamie,” comes a twin from above him, “We’re starving. Can you go get us some snacks and throw them up?” The boy isn’t yelling really, they can hear him quite clearly in the quiet of the woods.

Jamie looks up. It’s too dark; he’s not sure who it is.

“Seriously? You two can starve for all I care. Maybe that’s the only way to get you down.”

“Well, if we starve, Momma will kill you.”

“Probably, but she will kill you first.”

There is a moment of silence as seven-year old brains try to figure that one out.

“If we’re dead, she can’t kill us.”

“Maybe, but I’m sure she will beat your scrawny emaciated bodies black and blue.”

“Maci-ated?” The little voice stumbles over the word, “What’s that mean?”

River answers, “It means you’ll be nothing but bones and skin. All your flesh will fall off and wither away. You will rot in that tree like road kill and the ravens will pick out your eyes.”

Jamie cocks a brow at River and whispers, “Graphic much?”

River shrugs.

There is worry from above, “How fast can you be maciated?”

River looks at Jamie and offers him a quick wink.

“Pretty fast,” River says nonchalantly. 

“Yup,” Jamie agrees, “Make sure you are holding on tight to those branches so your bones don’t fall out of the tree and Teague chews on ‘em. You know…after the ravens eat your eyeballs out.”

This terrorizing of little kids is kind of fun!

There is silence from above. River and Jamie look at each other grinning in the dark.

“We don’t wanna be maciated.” That sounds like Jason, although Jamie can’t be sure. He glances up and can still see Jason’s bright white shock of hair barely noticeable in the shadows in the tree.

Jamie sighs heavily, “Yeah, it’s a rough way to go. I mean you guys are runts and all but…well, I wouldn’t want you to die like that.”

He can hear a little sniffle from above. It doesn’t bother him in the least.

River looks like he might cave, he’s never been good with little kids and the twins hate him but tears are his weak spot. Jamie elbows him roughly in the ribs. River grunts but doesn’t retaliate.

“Well,” Jamie stands and brushes off the butt of his jeans, “Riv and I are going to head on back. We have marked the tree so we can tell your folks where your bones are. I’m sure there will be a few left.”

There is silence then hushed words that Jamie can’t make out.

“Jamie!” This time Jamie is sure it’s Justin. He is a little scrappier than his brother and he generally has a bigger mouth.

“We wanna come down,” Jason finishes, a little softer than Justin’s previous bellow for Jamie’s attention.

“S’up to you, “ Jamie stands at the base of the tree, arms crossed unconsciously looking like Gramps, “Riv and I need to head back to wait for JR.”

“Speaking of JR,” River says as he stands and positions himself next to Jamie, “We can keep him out of the woods for a while, y’know, so he’s not the one to find your bones. I mean, if you two decide not to come down that is. That’s the least we can do, he’s a good friend and all.”

River shoves his hands in his pockets. It doesn’t quite present that stalwart Winchester look. Then again, Jamie has seen Gramps do the exact same motion. Oftentimes before he decides to ream somebody out over one thing or another. It’s like a ninja Gramps move, sneaky and understated until he slams you. Dad is more animated, Uncle Sam more disapproving. Gramps is the one who just stands in silence scaring the shit out of you.

Jamie gives River an attaboy look and tries not to smile. The twins may hate Riv, but they love their brother and just mentioning his name seems to encourage them to some kind of action.

The boys above them don’t say anything but their twin telepathy must be in full swing because they appear to make a decision in unison. Jamie can hear the monkeys moving above them as they start to scramble down the tree, sneakers scraping on bark and an occasional twig breaking. There is a heartbreaking moment when a bigger branch snaps and Jamie and River both lunge under the outline of the boys expecting to catch one or the other. But whoever slipped finds purchase again and continues down the tree.

A moment later they are safely on the ground, both looking a little chagrined. 

Suddenly Jason turns to Justin and whoops. “We aren’t MACIATED!”

They dive on each other for a celebratory pummeling.

Jamie grabs Jason. River grabs Justin. They pull them apart and each older boy grabs the younger one by scruff of the neck and starts pushing them back toward the Banner house.

They may not be maciated but they are sure as shoot gonna be dead.

XXX

When they push-pull the twins up to the house, they see JR standing on the back porch. His hip leans languidly against the house, dark blond hair curling around his face in the almost moonlight.

“Watcha do with my brothers?” he asks. He doesn’t look particularly worried as he opens the back screen door and ushers all four of them in.

“It’s not what we did, it’s what we’re gonna do,” Jamie mutters pushing Jason on to the couch. River does the same with Justin.

JR assumes his toughest big brother look, eyes narrowing at his youngest brothers.

“Okay then. What did you two do?” JR asks.

“Nuthin’” they answer in tandem. 

JR tilts his head and scowls, not believing their statement for one moment.

So he stills, obviously waiting for more.

Jamie and River stand on either side of JR. It occurs to Jamie that they are their own version of the Terrible Trio. It both worries him and gives him a rush in equal measure.

Jason starts to say something and Justin jabs him in the ribs, almost a mirror of Jamie jabbing River earlier.

Jason turns to Justin, blue eyes blazing, “Doesn’t matter Justy, they already know, poophead.”

Justin seems to think about that a minute, “Doesn’t mean we have to criminate ourselves.”

Justin looks at JR, “We plead the fifth,” It’s obvious he has no idea what that is but he’s heard it somewhere.

“There is no “Fifth” in this family, Justin.” JR says, “Just ask Dad when you see him.”

The mention of their father makes both boys eyes dart toward the door and their faces blanch.

“Don’t even think about it,” Jamie says with a growl, “I am not chasing your scrawny asses all over this farm again.”

“You said the A word!” Jason cries, his little voice laced with indignance. 

“The A word! I’m gonna do a much more with the A word, and you better believe that ya little shit!”

Justin’s eyes grow wide, “Now you said the S word. You’re gonna geeeettt it!”

Jamie can barely control himself. “Me? Get it? I’m gonna kill you!” He dives for Justin but is brought up short by both Riv and JR who anticipate Jamie’s lunge.

“Cool off, bro,” River says gently, “Let me and JR handle this.”

“Fine,” Jamie grouses and then storms out of the living room onto the front porch. He is greeted by Teague who promptly knocks him down, covering him with muddy paws and slobbery kisses.

Jamie just lays there under the puppy and lets it happen. He doesn’t have the strength to pull the beast off and it is moot anyway. He’s already covered in mud and dog spit so what’s the point. 

He thinks his shoulder blade is being punctured by a nail that needs to be hammered back into the porch. It hurts - but everything hurts. He figures between Coach and his practice from hell and the mad sprint across the Banners farm to catch the boys, there is nothing in his body that isn’t sore. It’s worse than any Winchester workout.

He can hear the twins wailing from inside the house. He’s not sure if River and JR are spanking their asses or just JR but he’s sure a Banner spanking is going down. 

Jamie is happy, despite the dog breaking his ribs. And the nail. He is deliriously happy that J2 is getting their butts well and truly roasted. Even as he sits under Teague and his slavering tongue, there is not a sympathetic bone in his aching body. Then he remembers when he was about their age and wandered off to find Godzilla. Godzilla had been great, his father’s reactions to his disobedience less so. Dad had blistered his narrow little kid butt in what was the worse spanking of his young life.

At the time he had howled and screamed and felt like his father was as mean as Godzilla. Now he understands. He knows how important the twins are to the Banners. The little shits are even important to Jamie. They are devils but they are Banner devils and so they are Winchester devils too.

A few minutes later the cries turn to sobs and then he can hear the wails wander off as the twins are sent to their room.

At least that’s what it sounds like.

River and JR join him on the porch. River looks down at Jamie still under Teague. 

He shakes his head, more at Jamie than the puppy.

“I know…he’s just a puppy,” Jamie says, trying to avoid being French kissed by the dog. He has been utterly defeated by Teague. Monsters he can handle but after the twins, a six-month old puppy has him on the ropes. At least Teague had the decency to find the boys. Jamie will just lay here quietly and hope Teague gets tired of stepping on him.

“Teague,” River says sharply and Teague stops his ministrations and cocks his head, glass blue eyes oddly white in the glow of the porch light.

“Leave it,” River says and miraculously Teague does, stepping off of Jamie and going quietly to sit next to his master.

“He is just a puppy, but even puppies need to learn,” River says sagely. 

“Even if they’re Banner pups?” JR asks as he tips his head toward the house and rubs his right hand over his jeans; it probably still stings.

“Yeah, even if they’re Banner pups,” River says.

JR nods his head in approval.

“What about teenagers?” Jamie asks, pulling a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping puppy slobber off of his face.

“Yeah, us too I guess,” River says as he pats Teague’s big head.

“Well,” Jamie says, “This teenager has learned his lesson.”

“And what’s that Jamie?” River asks as he watches Jamie lever himself off the front porch. He clutches the railing and pulls himself up then once standing up, leans heavily against the porch post.

“Next time we watch the twins.” Jamie says seriously, “We are teaching them a new game. No more tree climbing. They learned that too fast and are far too good at it. Instead we are going to teach them the ‘art of escaping ropes’ a la Winchester.”

River and JR exchange confused glances. “Huh?” They both ask together.

“You know, where we walk in the house, tie the twins up in a “Magic Trick” and see if they can get their way out. If we use all of the knots the Trio taught us in Rope 101, we should be able to hold them for a few hours. At least long enough to make sure the doors are padlocked and they are safely in the house.”

River grins but JR turns nervously to Jamie, “I guess now is not the time to tell you that I taught them to pick locks. They’re good too.”

Jamie punches JR in the shoulder. He must still have enough energy to cause some pain because JR winces, “What?” JR protests and rubs his left shoulder with his sore right hand.

“Why would teach them how to pick locks! They are The Twins! They are Banner squared! Teaching them to climb trees when they were little guys is was almost got them killed tonight!”

JR laughs, "Well, that and this!" he lifts his right hand then sobers up, “Because they’re honorary Winchesters like me. If they are expected to carry on the Banner tradition, they have some big shoes to fill.”

Jamie shrugs resignedly. It’s true; they are the little brothers he doesn’t have. He figures he can handle the Banner twins on an occasional basis. Even if they are monkeys.

Jamie sighs and he eyes the old red truck sitting in the crush and run that serves as the Banners driveway. He can’t wait to get home and crawl into bed.

He decides it is okay. The Twins are as much his problem as they are JR’s. Watching them once in a while is worth having the Banners in his life.

River slings an arm over Jamie’s shoulders as they head toward the truck. 

As they get in the truck and River starts it up he turns to Jamie and grins. It’s obvious he’s been thinking along the same lines as Jamie. He brushes his long blond hair back, so much like Uncle Sam that Jamie’s heart melts just a bit.

God, he’s a wuss. He loves his family so damn much.

“Think of it this way, Jamie. At least Uncle Adam doesn’t have any kids.”

Jamie’s head thumps against the back of the seat at that thought. He closes his eyes with the thought of crazy Uncle Adam and children. All he can see is Uncle Adam riding the old Panhead with a munchkin behind him.

Gramps would have a cow. 

Jamie shudders just thinking about it. He drops his head against the passenger side window. The glass feels cool against his cheek and the sound of the truck is almost like a lullaby. He is asleep before they get home.

End.


End file.
